It's all about the time, time heals

Hi, I know it has been a week after those days and I should've move on :'). I thought I already did, but I'm not. Aku belum maafkan dia sepenuhnya. Or maybe I didn't forgive him yet. I don't know. Hati ni sakit lagi bila teringat. Masih lagi terngiang ngiang rasa panas, rasa sesak dekat dada, rasa kecewa, rasa macam macam masa jadi haritu. I don't know, I  can't breathe when think about it. Semalam, I still think about that. What if, what if, what if :'). Sampai terbawa masuk mimpi. Aku tanak benci siapa siapa for no reason lagi dah, but this time I hate her. I do really hate her. Just because of what he had done. Dah seminggu. But aku still nangis before going to sleep. Still nangis bila teringat. Haha how cengeng am I. Nasib baik la bukan waktu cuti and bukan dekat rumah. If not lagi teruk aku meroyan. Thanks to Sarah, Khai, Qawiy and the others for making me smile everyday even I don't know la tu ikhlas ke tak sebab tengah serabut lagi. This the reason why I shouldn't love someone this much. I'll put high expectation on him and at the end I know he can't be that someone yang aku harapkan. Then, I'll disappointed. Sebab kadang kadang rasa usaha aku macam tak worth it. I'm trying my best not to do something that will break his heart. I don't really talk to a guy. Even adib classmate aku tu till now touching dengan aku sebab since sem 2 aku dah tak cakap dengan dia other than pasal kelas. He said aku lupa kawan when I'm actually tak maksud kan macam tu 😂. I don't simply follow any guys on twitter. Don't simply talk with other guys virtually apa tah lagi in real life. Aku kecikkan circle kawan aku sebab nak elak some stupid things happened. Yah I know, I did mistake. That's the biggest mistake that I've ever done in my life. Download tinder to make myself happy all over again. But when I'm actually not happy as I wished. Knowing nasrul makes me realise that I shouldn't be someone that I don't wanna be. Jangan paksa diri jadi someone yang kau tanak jadi just sebab marah. But those days when dah kantoi kan tu my heart broke into pieces. Rasa macam nak pergi mampus kan semua benda. But still this small part in my heart don't wanna let him go. I just can't. So rasa macam tu berterusan sampai sekarang. I know I should just forgive and forget. Everyone makes mistake. Aku bukan nak drag still berterusan sedih macam ni. Still berterusan tanak move on apa semua. But I need more time to heal. Macam patah kaki, masuk hospital makan ubat apa semua bukan boleh elok dalam masa 2-3 hari kan. Same goes to my heart. So yah it's all about time, time heals.